amiga. girl. my gYaL.....

Your reflection has one job:Turn your Five-Star Ego on..But....You cut off your electricity two 9-to-cry jobs, 4 faux friends, and
2 lame vulva visitors ago.🥺And now?
Your lights are off.Why?Cuz You Forgot You're Hot.But I gotchu...

🩺CHAPTER 1: THE DIAGNOSIS🩺

Shein Boys Will Ruin Your Credit Score
(And Foreclose Your Corazón)

Your heart? Haute.
Your face card? Couture. (Claro)
So why does your dating life resemble a Shein Sample sale?Girl, tonight’s dinner is gonna crack open that stealthy “strong independent woman” belief that’s been tricking you into pricing your love like it’s goodwill instead of Gucci annnd...You'll leave armed with the EgoNUTRiTiONAL™ test that instantly tells you
if he’s worth your love-splurge.

WHAT THIS ISN'T (And What It IS)

This ain't a webinar.
This ain't a workshop.
This ain't no girl power pow-wow.
And no, this ain't no mukbang.Babes, this is where you and your fellow flyy gyaL dinner party guests from around o mundo 🌍 will be served an illegal dose of spiritually spicy, absurdish EgoNutritional™ ingredients straight from my unauthorized, unregulated, unfiltered-but 1000% HOMEGIRL-APPROVED food-forward farmácia 🏥...

BECAUSE WHEN YOUR STANDARDS STARVE,
MEDIOCRITY BECOMES YOUR MEAL PREP.

UPCOMING DINNER PARTY SESSIONS
(Capped at 12 seats each | 90 minutes | Recording included)

⌛BOX OFFICE FOR DEC 18 CLOSES IN:

🚨Chapter 2 Drops January 2026.

• GIRL, POR FAVOR, TELL ME WHEN CHAPTER 2 DROPS!!

YOUR DINNER PARTY-N-BED TICKET INCLUDES:

🍽️ One 90-minute live Dinner Party-in-Bed (*$99 per ONE dinner party)
We chat. We chew. We take a bat to whatever's been dimming your wattage.🗨️ Deep Dish & Moan™ Q&A session
You ask about your dating disaster, career coquito, or friendship frustration.
I answer live. Unfiltered. With receipts.🎤 Personal 48-hour Voice Note Follow-up
You asked something during dinner? I'm sending you a voice memo
with my unanitized take within 48 hours. Just for you.📨Pre-Dinner Secret Dossier (sachays into your inbox 72 hours before)
• The full menu with EmotioNutritional™ breakdown
• Shopping list (if you wanna eat what I'm eating)
• Aesthetic vibe guide (lighting, fit, energy)📦 Post-Dinner Care Package (delivered 48 hours after)
• Recording (so you can rewatch whenever that Hot Gyal Amnesia has the audacity to attempt a comeback)
• Transcript (so you can search for that thing I said about your roster)
• 30-Day Action Plan PDF (so you actually do the work, not just feel inspired)📲 30 days of HOTFIRMATIONS included (normally $7/month)
Girl, this is your morning shot of healthy ego texts recharging you with an illegal amount of Hot Gyal Energy.
After 30 days, you decide: keep them for $7/month or let them end.🎟️ Lock in $99 pricing for all 5 chapters
Chapter 1 graduates pay $99 FOREVAHHHH.
New January Hot Gyals pay $127.
(That's at least three extra spicy Match drinks you get to indulge in, right?...two if you're here in NYC 🫰🏾)🖼️ Your Chapter 1 Graduate Cult Keepsake
After dinner, I'm designing a limited-edition SSENSE.com-style
visual souvenir from our night together._Think: underground editorial energy.
You'll get it within 72 hours to flex on IG stories.(Because completing Chapter 1 is worth bragging about 😜💃🏾.)

MY 100% SATISFACTION GUARANTEESalsa into dinner. Not for you?
Email me within 24 hours.
Your refund will rejoin you in bed.
Your keys to access the recording will return to moi.I'd rather you find the dinner that DOES hit than sit with something that doesn't.

⚠️WARNING:
Attending a Dinner Party-in Bed, Will Cause You To…

🔥 Strut out of bed knowing you're hot without needing IG hearts to cosign📵 Text that situationship 'sianara' without drafting 47 versions first💎 Enter rooms in that quiet-luxury way: effort-free, expensive, undisturbed🧹 Unfollow the ex who's living rent-free in your stories for 8 months🦘 Perform an Olympian-level high-jump off that settle bus heading
downtown to W 4th St. between Mediocre & Pedestrian Ave💼 Finally shoot your shot at that job/opportunity you swear you're "not ready for"🕶 Watch former haters soften into reformed villains who now Google your glow📦 Evict your longtime roommate "Insecurity" and keep her deposit💗 Attract SuperAmigas who check you, challenge you, and still choose to love you🌇 Wake up with a Five-Star ego that ain't mean, manic, or manufactured

GIRL, THIS IS SOOO FOR YOU IF…

✅ You suspect you've been blending into a bland routine all damn easily✅ You cherish the sacred moment you learn you were wrong all along✅ You believe eating is an exciting spa experience for your tongue✅ You want homegirl-to-homegirl truth, not 'nice' liars✅ You can actually handle accountability (even when it's about you)✅ You're greedy for a girthy soft life with a side of assets✅ You love a random 90s R&B and Rap 🎤 karaoke moment (or seven) 😜✅ You know your life is supposed to be tasty, but don't know how to start seasoning it✅ You're the flyy gyal, the guapa, and the gostosa (cuz who said you can't be
a 3-in-1 triple-attractive-threat? 😘) whose editorial sense and discerning taste
are allergic to glossy feminist traps

BABES, THIS AIN’T FOR YOU IF….

❌ You hate men (I LOVE me some men, os homens, hombres, hommes…TODOS!)❌ You believe "dating down" just means he makes less money❌ You're Drake's number one fan (girl, God's Plan is not for you to secure
a Rich Baby Daddy)❌ You prefer coddling over clarity❌ You're looking for a vision board bestie❌ You believe English is the only language that matters❌ You would rather learn to love a lukewarm life than make yours an inferno❌ You crave that corny, cringey 'stand in your power' self-helpy BS❌ You're allergic to God, Jesus, or Holy Spirit receipts (girl, these SuperHottie^TM Bible facts are yummy!)❌ Your favorite role to play is the victim

SO...
HOW DOES THIS WHOLE DINNER PARTY-IN-BED TING TING TING WORK EXACTLY?

1. 🎟 LOCK IN YOUR SPOT TO THE NEXT ODPB DROP 🥣
(ODPB = Online Dinner Party-in-Bed)Pick the Dinner Party-in-Bed that's serving that emotionally-nutrient
entrée your corazón's been craving. Purchase your ticket.
Voila…FOMO defeated.2. 📨 YOUR SECRET DINNER DOSSIER DROPS 48 HOURS BEFORE THE FIVE-STAR EGO FEASTI'll sachay into your inbox with your private link to access annnd…
I'll drop a lil trailer of the 3-4 courses for the night 💫.Just in case you wanna eat what I'm eating or whip up something close
enough to make the stars jealous 😜⭐.3.** 🗨📆 DAY-OF REMINDERS (BECAUSE YOU STAY BUSY FORGETTING YOU'RE HOT)**I'll text you and email you the day of…Amiga, girl, my gyal, you're already busy forgetting you're hot 🔥
so I can't have you forgetting to come thru for comida 🍽 and convo.
I told you I gotchu. 😘4. 🔥 YOU PREPARE FOR YOUR HOT GYAL-TURNED-RADIO-ATTRACTIVE HEATWAVE TO COMMENCEI'll introduce you to your new Five-Star EgoNutritional™ dishes of the evening.
You chew, I chew, we chat, and maybe we do a lil karaoke rap 🎤,
and of course, we take a bat to whatever's been dimming your wattage 💡💥.

AMIGA, GIRL, MY GYAL...
I KNOW YOU GOT PREGUNTAS, RIGHT?
CUE FAQs...

"Do I have to eat the same food as you?"
Claro, nah.
It's your boca, chew what you want.
I'll salsa into your inbox 48 hours before with my chewing itinerary
if you wanna be chewing twins.
Otherwise, chew you, boo.
The comida is just the spaceship. The convos are the galaxies we're sauntering into.━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━"Will I have to be on camera?"
Amiga, you don't have to do nada.
Be a chica who chews and chats or one who just chews and chills. Up to you, boo.
Video optional. Mic optional. Lurking encouraged. Respect demanded.━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━"What if I can't make it?"
All good. Reply to your confirmation email. I'll move you to another dinner-in-bed party.
No telenovela, wahala, or interrogation included.━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━"When does the box office close?"Tickets close the night before each dinner at 11:59pm EST.
(P.S. If a seat opens up last-minute, I'll notify everyone on the waitlist. So if you're not already on it, get
on it already.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
"Is this just a sales pitch for your other stuff?"
If your amiga had access to weapons of mass advantage, wouldn't you want the intro?
I don't pitch. I make introductions.
You decide if it's 'sí' or 'sayonara.'━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━"Are you gonna judge me for my life 'groans'?"
Amiga, hot gyals like moi are too hot to risk cold energy judging others.
The real question: Are you gonna judge yourself?
Because these dinners will prompt you to do an intimate investigation into the real you.
You ready?━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━"Will I miss out if I can't attend live?"
You'll miss the Q&A and the live community vibe,
but you'll get the full feast + sermon in the recording.Think of it like this:
Live = front row at a concert
Recording = VIP backstage footageBoth are good. Live is just tastier.━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━"Can I buy just the recording?"
You can't, chica.
This is a LIVE dinner party. The recording is a bonus (backup if you can't make it).
If you miss it live, you get the recording but....
Amiga, girl, my gyal....
the live energy is where your metamorphosis happens.━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━MY 100% SATISFACTION GUARANTEESalsa into dinner. Not for you?
Email me within 24 hours.
Your refund will rejoin you in bed.
Your keys to access the recording will return to moi.I'd rather you find the dinner that DOES hit than sit with something that doesn't.

YOUR FIVE-DINNER PROTOCOL

CHAPTER 1: THE DIAGNOSIS 🩺
"Shein Boys Will Ruin Your Credit Score (And Foreclose Your Corazón)"
→ We name the problem. You discover where you've been love-splurging wrong.CHAPTER 2: THE DETOX 🧪
"Um, You Know Dildos Are Making Our Vulvas Dumb, Right?"
→ We address the coping mechanisms. You delete the distractions keeping you lukewarm.CHAPTER 3: THE DECISION ⚖️
"Where Will We Shop The Morning After All Single (Straight) Men Are Out of Stock?"
→ We force the choice. You decide if you’re gonna learn to love lukewarm or wait powerfully for worthy.CHAPTER 4: THE DELUSION 🐈
"Is The Quiet Luxury of Loneliness Just Our Expensive Cat?"
→ We slap the hell outta them glossy, fancy, ‘feminist-ish; lies. Delusions, deleted! You see through the propaganda that loneliness = failure.CHAPTER 5: THE DEBUT 👑
"Girl, 'Pretty' Is Fired. Meet Our New Superficial Advantage"
→ We celebrate your Five-Star Ego renovation. You step into radio-ATTRACTIVE allure permanently.━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Each dinner stands alone. But complete all five?
Girl, that makes you stand in a private jet lane of your own…
And when you do?
You won't just remember you're hot...
Babes, you'll finally believe it's a biological fact.